Anja and Viktor Burning Love
Don't worry, we'll get you down.
Come on, Arnold.
I want the Queen's word -
- that blue whales in Danish water will be protected, starting tomorrow.
- There are no blue whales here. - Oh, aren't there?
They're in this song.
Not blue whales, Arnold.
- Who called us? - We did. He needs help.
Don't call us to your baby buggy meets.
Having to pay for your holidays is bad enough.
- Not holidays. Maternity leave. - She's just a concerned citizen.
I need some firewood for my cabin.
I demand the protection of all fish in Danish waters.
And I want a bubble bath with Lulu but life is full of disappointments.
- If you cut down this tower... - What? I can't hear you.
- Oh, yes, you can! - Arnold...
If you don't stop we'll phone the papers.
Oh, you don't walk on water?
Anyone wearing a blue band can swim for... 20 minutes?
- Hi, honey. - Hi, Anja.
- Is it a bad time? - No, we're only playing cards.
- You can't expect action every day. - I've got a great hand. Got to go.
Gitte's bringing her new boyfriend tonight.
- How nice! But I'll see you later. - OK, see you.
- A young lady, eh? - My girlfriend, Arnold.
- I hope you're engaged? - No.
Oh? I learn something every day.
Have a nice day. Cheerio!
Where are you going now? Arnold?
Anja, it doesn't look good when the receptionist has bulimia.
- You could just promote me. - They're lovely.
Really?
- Totally nice. - My tenth campaign proposal.
- This is Liv. - Hi.
I'm showing her around.
Have you really got bulimia?
I've got an idea.
Hi, baby.
I picked you some flowers.
You know just what a woman wants.
Give us a kiss!
- What was that? - I've never liked cheese puffs.
I just got a craving for them.
You look great in that uniform.
Maybe it isn't so strange that I am eating all this weird stuff.
Viktor...
Hey, stop that. You've got visitors.
Leave some doormat for Anja and Viktor.
This is the celebrated Buster.
You have a really nice home.
Gitte says you're a fireman. How exciting!
They play a lot of cards at the fire station.
Anja, he looks like a hunk. Shall we borrow it?
- Isn't it state property? - Yes.
Anja and Viktor, I have a favor to ask of you.
I don't suppose you have a toilet I might borrow?
- Yeah, the bathroom is over there. - That's really kind of you.
- He's really sweet. - Yes, Buster's just gorgeous.
And polite.
I've brought back your Santa costume.
- Larsen wants me in it again. - How kinky! Fun and games!
- It's for the local kids. - "Fun with the firemen".
- Shall we grab a pizza? - You are eating non-stop.
- Hi, Peter! Kids suit you. - It's wonderful.
We had a lovely day in the park. Is Regitze back?
- I don't think so. - I promised to cook supper.
Let's get those pizzas.
Nikolaj and Torkild are due on stage and Dr. Phil is on TV...
He's fantastic.
Let's get the washing off the line on the way.
- Peter of all people! - A sad loss to city night life.
- It suits him. - What a touching sight!
- Thank you, Mr. Kleenex. - Come on!
- No, thanks. - What, no beer?
- Hi! Anni! - Anja. Hi, Liv.
How come you don't get fat?
Thanks.
What's the matter?
Nothing.
Except you're going to be a dad.
I got a new brand of pill and...
...be-a-dad...
Viktor's going to be a dad.
Isn't it beautiful? They're going to have a baby!
They've been together since high school.
May I suggest "Nikolaj and Torkild"? Hyphenated?
- And if it's a girl? - You'll just have to try again.
I agree. I agree.
Morning! What a cool bag! Totally retro. Real Manchester.
Are you going to work here?
Ulrik said...
...you could help me. There's all this computer and phone stuff.
And it's quite complicated really.
Anja, Ulrik will be back from New York at 4.
Hed wants to see you.
At 4 I've got stuff to do with Viktor that he can't do on his own.
- I expect he can. - My parents are coming to supper.
Shit!
What's Liv doing on my chair?
It's ringing again! Help!
Try this. It usually works.
Teamwork Medea, good morning.
Excuse me.
Hi, it's me. Did you drown your mobile?
Give me a ring.
I don't believe it.
I left my ovaries at home.
Right. Viktor, give me a hand.
Come to me.
Here. Breathing.
Inhale through your nose.
And...
Deep down. Let's hear it!
Yes. Yes.
That's gorgeous, Viktor. You're working well.
You're a good person to use. Even though it's a bit soon.
- Anja wanted to be on the safe side. - No need for her to come at all.
Maybe there isn't an Anja?
There is! I have a photo of her!
A last look at the pelvis...
Men, watch! This is where life begins.
Breathe in.
- You're pregnant? - Isn't that why you're firing me?
- Firing you? No. - You think I'm a complete idiot?
Liv told you I was pregnant.
As part of her plan to get me out of the way.
Liv couldn't plan a trip to the rest room.
Anyway, who cares? I should have quit years ago.
I am sick of your pep talks and creepy campaigns -
- and your prissy pink moccasins.
Anja? Is it cool being an art director?
I am not sure I get you.
Whoops!
What did he mean?
He didn't mean... you were going to promote me?
You heard him.
- Did you know Anja was pregnant? - Yes. Isn't it lovely?
Why didn't you tell me? The whole bureau knows about her promotion.
I can't fire her now or she'll sue. Where were your brains, you clown?
Sorry. I didn't realize.
No. What the hell do I do now?
Make life difficult for her.
You can have two weeks' maternity leave.
Two weeks... but I'm entitled to...
There's so much we're entitled to in life.
Two weeks sharp!
Yes.
Two weeks will be fine. No trouble.
Oh.
OK.
But no screaming kids in the office, right?
What do you take me for? Eh?
- I am impressed. - But they didn't buy it.
It was easier in our day.
I popped into the surgeon's office for a sherry and a cigar -
- and waited till the baby had been washed and ironed, -
- patted it on the head and headed back to the office. Right, Jette?
That's what you did.
Dad, you are the worst male chauvinist in the world.
Honestly, look at yourselves! Jamie Oliver rescues cats from trees.
And Anja...
You've spent four years making coffee and answering the phone.
- If that isn't old-fashioned... - Dad...
What did you want to be when you were a little girl?
"A receptionist!" That's right.
She can easily mind the baby for a year or two.
Receptionists don't earn much. Do they?
I've just been promoted.
To Junior Art Director.
- I don't believe it! - It's true!
- Well done, baby! - Well done, my girl!
Did you hear that? Our clever girl has been promoted.
What did I tell you?
- A chip off the old block! - What about the baby?
I know how hard it can be.
Victor, I know just what you need. Just a moment.
You must come along.
"Tommy Jensen's Man Training. You're macho and you don't know it".
- Willy, you'll never grow up. - It's important.
Viktor will need it when he's drowning in babyfood.
You get six months maternity leave.
Yes, right, baby?
'Bye.
- Two weeks' maternity leave? - You can take six months.
And my uniform can take care of itself?
I'll change nappies when I get home from work, but...
- Larsen says... - What does he say?
He's got four ex wives.
- Yes, but you know... - No, I don't know.
All I know is that you've had a ball as a fireman -
- while I've spent four years answering the phone -
- and hoping someone will notice my artwork.
That's enough time for normal people to get a whole degree.
And at last I've been given a chance. If I have to mind a baby -
- I might as well just buy a housecoat.
- But darling... - Wrap it.
- Larsen, about paternity leave... - One week's holiday.
- Is that all? - And a paper tissue.
Or a pass to the Women's Institute.
- It's Anja and her job... - Listen to me, lad.
I've got five kids. Two of them are even mine.
I took one afternoon off. That's the way to do it.
Women don't like you under their feet; they lose their respect.
- Whatever they say. - This is the 21st century.
It wasn't me who invented women. That's just how it is.
I was expecting... and Anja likes the idea...
...to take six months.
What? Six months?
I can't allow that.
You're my best man.
It's her hormones talking. Forget all about it.
Don't be too sure, Larsen. We women know our own minds.
That's the last time I rescue a cat -
- for that over-the-hill ex-hippie women's libber.
Larsen...
Hormones? You think this is hormones?
You think that's why I think my job matters? Hormones?
It's OK that you hadn't thought it through before.
But it's humiliating having to ask you to do this.
I don't want to have to make all the decisions.
It's just so unfair...
It's my turn to prove that I am a hard-nosed businesswoman.
That's what...
I'll talk to Larsen again.
I promise.
And it mustn't be just for my sake.
It has to be because it's what you want, too.
Because you realize how important it is to me.
If you'll show Willy how to put together a good campaign, OK?
Deal?
7 months later
Maternity Ward
Viktor? Aren't you coming in?
Are you sure? You've chucked me out twenty times.
No, baby, come in now.
Viktor, you're a dad. It's little girl.
- Would you like to cut the cord? - Yes...
- You're sure you won't faint? - No. I'm a fireman.
Of course. Hold it here.
Snip!
Ouch.
She really is sweeter than the other babies.
But it won't be long before she's slamming doors -
- and demanding her own iPod and bringing yobs home -
- and having her stomach pumped and...
I should hope so.
- Looking forward to paternity leave? - It'll be wonderful.
You know how much it means to me.
I've got to show my father I can do it.
Of course.
You won't miss the boys and the uniform too much?
You'll be the one who misses the uniform.
I love you, baby.
I love you.
- I'll miss you. - You won't have time for that.
You'll be waxing floors, polishing silver and pickling cucumbers.
A housewife never rests. Life is all dustpans and brushes.
Thanks for the beer. We're off.
Can I keep my uniform? Anja really likes it.
No. Not while you're on six months of paid holiday.
I don't make the rules.
She's almost ready. And you've read all this.
- I've looked at the pictures. - Good. Because I'm going.
- It'll be great being back at work. - Yes, it will.
But not half as great as coming home tonight.
I'm going to make a salmon and broccoli quiche.
Delicious. But isn't it a lot of work?
Listen; "Lactating is a reflex action sparked by thinking about the baby".
"Or when the mother sees other children."
You'd better take a clean top with you.
Don't be silly. I'll manage.
Right, let's run through the list. 10 a.m. Baby swimming.
Make sure she has a nap afterwards. 2 p.m. The health visitor.
The milk's in the bottles. And I'll be back tonight.
Off you go, mummy.
'Bye.
Now it's just you and me.
Let's make a nice day of it!
Yes. We don't need a manual.
Baby's only food down the drain.
I have ten minutes before my next meeting. See this sheet of paper?
We are competing for a new nappy account.
- It will revolutionize the market. - Yes!
There's a lot of money involved. It'll save the firm -
- and the bank will keep us afloat during the present crisis.
- Anja, do we need a break? - No, go on.
Is it the baby? Is that why you're...
Yes.
Right. Nappies. There'll always be a need for them.
But nappies don't sell themselves.
- Good point, boss. - It's so crazy. He is brilliant.
Thanks. That'll do. You must be creative.
Use those kinky brains of yours to come up with something -
- that'll even have people without babies buying these nappies.
Yes... the thing is, when I think nappies -
- I think babies. Right?
- Babies are what I think of first. - Baby is a nice word. It's yummy.
Baby... Babier... Babies...
Yes, OK, what about you? Babies.
We need something other than little blue beads dribbling into a nappy.
Sorry, but this little girl needs feeding.
- We had an accident. - She's so adorable!
- Anja, we agreed... - I'll only be a minute.
Hi, Victor. It's dad!
Amazing! I'd love to try it too.
We have the nappy, the man, the bag ...Viktor, show us how it's done.
Firstly you need a baby.
I've heard you have to make sure you don't get any of that... er...
Boss, we can use that.
You'll be wanting quality time next.
Liv, come on in, we're turning the place into a crèche.
Liv, I was joking.
- A joke? - She's finished.
- Wow! A real, live baby! - Yes.
- This is genuine research. - OK, that will do.
- Stop it! - Ulrik, you've got to try it too.
- She's so sweet, boss. - Hello, hello, hello...
Hold her, boss.
I'm sorry.
I've got a presentation in ten minutes.
Look!
- Back off! - They can't help it.
No. Exactly. That's why they're not allowed at advertising agencies.
- I'm sorry, darling. - Did he throw another wobbly?
I keep them in the attic. Regitze says they smell too rural.
- So we won't tell mummy, right? - Can you get me in on your card?
You must be joking.
They wouldn't exactly throw us to the lions.
They might confiscate my card.
No, nobody's going to throw you to the lions.
- Not many chocolate bits in this. - It was hell at first.
Fiona never ate and Paula was always running a temperature.
Probably because Regitze refused to breast-feed.
- Why? - It ruins their breasts.
- I had to make up milk powder. - What did she do?
She's got her children's clothing business; never any time off.
It's one of the toughest businesses there is.
What about your modeling career?
Right... I need to get that back on track.
- But Milan won't be going anywhere. - That's what I tell myself, too.
Excuse me!
I don't mean to interfere -
- but isn't the male baboon being unusually aggressive?
Let's go.
- He was so good today. - A family separated for 20 years!
I didn't like the first man, though. All his macho posing.
Yes, he was too much...
By the way I still have your oven-proof dish; the big one.
No hurry. And how is my little babykins?
I am fine. So is baby.
Back in the 1950s everything was under control.
Mum looked after the house. Dad was the head of the family.
Today the stress caused by careers, romance and kids -
- has put the family on a collision course.
Maybe things were better in the 1950s.
I'm sorry I'm so late.
It dragged out. I hope supper didn't get cold.
No.
For you, darling. I didn't know how to amends.
Hi, baby.
I win with a sweet little lady.
Do you mind? The baby...
Some things are meant to burn, fireman!
Viktor, we are worried about you.
- So am I. - When did we last go out?
When did you last have anything but juice and broccoli quiche?
We miss the old Viktor. You've gone all soft and cuddly.
I'm just doing my bit. New-age man and all that.
Either we help too little and they get mean -
- or we help too much and they dump us.
- It's a lose-lose situation. - Right. Listen to Arne.
If you go on like this she'll take you for granted.
And it'll be "'Bye-bye, Anja".
Nikolaj, you've been watching too much Dr. Phil.
No, but Viktor does.
- Hey, Peter, sneaking a cigarette? - Hi, Viktor.
Regitze doesn't like me smoking. She says smokers are weak -
- and should be executed. She means it.
We're a right pair of macho lads. Are we doing the right thing?
Of course we are. New-age man. What do you mean?
Just looking after the kids... OK, the baby wasn't planned, but...
Ours were. Regitze read that you should have your first at 28, -
- so that was that.
I sometimes wonder "What if we hadn't had her?"
Would we still be together, even? Now she's got this fancy job and...
Tea... I've put sugar in.
Anja, I've been thinking.
- What about, darling? - Well...
- Do you take me for granted? - No. Why?
- Who says I do? - Nobody.
Or... Nikolaj does. A bit.
Don't take this the wrong way. Nikolaj is a great guy.
But he lives out of a cardboard box and is useless with any girl over 19.
- So there's no truth in it? - Of course not.
You know how busy we are at work. Just till this campaign is over.
OK.
Come here.
Maybe that's not the sexiest thing in the world...
- No. - But you know how much I love you.
Even though you are a house husband?
Don't you ever miss the old fireman?
Go in and put on your old uniform.
And then come back here to me.
Yes.
Right.
Ho, ho, ho! Who's been a naughty girl this year?
- Hi, Gitte, how are you doing? - It's Buster.
What about him? Has he dumped you?
- No, I've dumped him. - But he was nice.
That's all he was. Nice.
I try to find a nice boy and when I find one he's too nice.
- It's awful. - Santa, make us a cup of tea.
"You decide which film to choose". "Shall I get supper?"
"No, I don't mind if you don't get home till 9 in the morning".
He's so damned nice. If only he could swear now and then.
And he always stays in.
He makes tea and bakes biscuits. Biscuits. I ask you!
Viktor's different. He looks really sexy in that Santa outfit.
It's the right moment to have our second child, dear.
It'll be nice for you to have more company at home.
You are a man...
- This macho man course looks tough. - He may have to close down.
- Why? - All the compensation claims.
From the Women's Institute, the Gay League, -
- and some librarian who lost four teeth.
And the trendy lefties all hate him.
- Will we be home by supper? - "Intensive Masculinity".
We'll be back by 5. Haven't you told the wife?
I told her I had a yoga class. Mum's minding the twins.
- Going to yoga was bad enough. - What has Regitze got against yoga?
She says people who do yoga are spineless.
She sounds delightful, your Regitze.
He's crazy. He's crazy.
Right then, girlies.
I'm your male God for the next few hours.
You think it's lunchtime because you see food.
It's an organic beetroot salad with Jerusalem artichoke.
- Delicious. - What did you say, girl?
- I said it looked delicious. - Has girlie got a name?
Viktor.
Viktoria thinks it looks delicious.
A pity he won't be allowed to eat it.
Homo sapiens is a carnivore.
We're going to show them what we think of girl food.
Get your dicks out and get started.
Get your dicks out! I want to see jets of it!
Lads, where the cupboard goes is up to you, however stupid it looks.
Ready, girlie? Then get a move on!
The one with the saucepan looks a bit like you.
Damn. It's Gnasher.
There. Crackling all round.
It's hard being cool with the guys.
Janus, you seem dead cool to me.
Although my films do great and I make loads of dough -
- and I've got a Hummer, I sometimes feel like a little boy.
Oh, you're a film director? Wow! What a guy!
It cuts no ice with me, Janus.
Have you ever had your hand right down your crotch?
Feel those soft little balls.
Check them out. Go on! Feel them?
- Of course. - Clever boy!
You could start by losing those Cola bottle bottoms.
Glasses? They're things my great grand-dad wore.
- See what I mean? - I can't see a thing.
I asked "Can you see what I mean?"
I use minus 8 and I've got an eye defect; I want my glasses.
Don't touch them.
- I want my glasses. - This is a breakthrough.
- Give me my glasses. - Here are your glasses.
Thank you. You are my friend.
On your feet!
Well, well, well. I have to say to all of you...
...That was some damned act.
That's the way to do it. Act.
There's no time for tears. What's needed is action.
That's what we men are born for.
Let's see if he can manage today's final assignment, though.
- Name! - Viktor Knudsen.
- What's the choice? - Cry or act.
- What must we do? - Show them what's what.
- No matter what? - No matter what it looks like.
Ready?
Yes.
- For what? - Rebirth.
- As what? - As a man.
Right on!
It's a new style.
You can cry or you can act!
- Don't forget: cry or act. - I've been totally born again.
I'm going to show Anja what's what.
You tell Regitze she can't have everything her way.
I'll let her change the nappies. And if she refuses, tough cookie.
- The babies will be left to howl. - Right on, Peter.
Hey, it's Big Pete. Ulrik, fancy a few jars tonight?
Regitze, man? She'll do as she's told.
Hi, honey. Baby swimming went on a bit today.
- What's the idea? - I felt like rearranging things.
- I'm entitled. - What's for supper?
- Steak and mustard. - Delicious! Just what I feel like.
Baby's crying. Deal with it.
It'll do her good to realize that mum and dad won't always be around.
There are going to be a few changes.
How exciting! I'd have killed you if you'd made another quiche.
I'm going to start poker again. Every... second Thursday.
If you straighten that can out we can get the deposit back.
Never mind that.
I'm going back to work.
- Cheers, children. - Cheers.
Anja, let me show you what paid for this lawn.
The phone rings. Willy answers it.
"Willy, we've got a fortnight to sell half a million nappies".
I do this. "Shit happens".
And we continue with Shu-bi-dua in nappies.
That's Red in the middle, Dong on the right.
- Willy, that was twenty years ago. - OK, Gnags, then. Whatever.
- It'll be great. - Are you going for that account?
Yes.
- So is Ulrik. - That makes us competitors.
- You and Ulrik or you and Anja? - Never mind.
We aren't going to compete here, are we?
We need some real fathers to debunk the myth of the helpless man.
We must show how neat, upbeat, and sexy changing nappies can be.
Not a woman in the entire campaign. Can you see it?
A hunk of a fireman with soot on his cheeks and designer stubble -
- rescues a baby from a burning building and changes her nappy.
Tough values contra soft values.
- Anja... you get the big hat. - I'm with you. Super nice.
You've made your last cup of coffee!
Shut up!
Hi, Pete.
I'm building a new coffee table. "Cry or act."
Fancy a beer?
Close the door, will you?
Bebsies Nappies are old-school. They sell nappies to mums.
What will they think of a presentation with no mums in?
You want blue beads and a happy housewife.
- Why not let me talk to their boss? - That's a lousy idea.
It'd be clever to use a man's world.
Men are just waiting to be told which nappies to buy.
- Don't you see? - All I see is no coffee.
Fetch me a cup.
What?
You're not interested in selling nappies; but coffee you're good at.
You've crossed the line, Ulrik.
- Really. - Who do you think I am?
- One of my employees. - Think again.
- I quit. - Don't be rash.
- I talked to Regitze. - What did she say?
- She didn't like what we'd learned. - So you said "Tough cookie".
Yes... but then she asked who'd got me to attend that course.
I told her you had.
And she phoned my mother and told her the whole story.
This flat belongs to my mother. You have no tenancy.
You're not telling me we have nowhere to live, are you?
There's nothing I can do. You've got to be out in a week.
Regitze's cousin is taking it over.
- Nobody can live here. - Sometimes they have to.
- What about your folks? - I'm not going back to mum and dad.
It's bad enough not having a job any more.
- This place is cool. - It's not cool, it's freezing.
- Any housewife's dream. - It's only temporary.
You'll love it here with your favorite godfather, -
- Uncle Torkild.
- Torkild-Borkild. - Just tell her your name.
I know you can't complain and that it's free of charge but it's a dump.
- Now for the sofa. - Down those stairs? Never!
WELCOME HOME VIKTOR
We are proud of your escape.
Aren't you having a lovely time! Hello, may I speak to La Cour?
His secretary, then?
Thanks.
My name is Anja Poulsen and I'm phoning about your nappy campaign.
I'd like to show you a few suggestions.
I know it's a closed competition. But even so...
Goodbye, then.
Hi, Anja! How nice to see you!
Why are you crawling?
Liv? You've got to do me a favor.
You manage Ulrik's diary, right?
Well, I screwed up this really quite important meeting.
And he said "Liv, you've got one more chance".
- He can be a bully. - You bet I cried.
You shouldn't put up with it.
Look... that meeting he's got this afternoon with the Bebsie man...
I don't think he'll be able to make it.
No, Anja!
Liv!
What the hell have you done? A poodle would make better copies.
Re-do them! Damn it!
Was this the meeting? Done.
Phone La Cour. Say that Anja Poulsen's coming instead.
- Where's Viktor? - In the gym.
Thanks.
Go for the man, not the ball!
Yes, get him, boy!
Pass to Piggy. Pass to Piggy.
No! Damn it, Viktor!
- Why don't you answer your phone? - It's in my jacket pocket.
- You look great. - I'm seeing Bebsie's CEO.
You've got to take her.
I can't. I'm on duty.
At noon on Friday it'll be too late. The other agencies will be there.
- I've got to see La Cour first. - It's no good.
He's right. You're wrecking his concentration.
Shut it, Larsen.
Are you trying to wreck this for me?
Who went on paternity leave? And found a roof over our heads?
I told you. It's the hormones talking.
Come on, Viktor.
Gitte, Anja speaking. Phone when you hear this message.
Torkild and Nikolaj aren't taking their phones either. Please!
Can I help you?
- I'm here to see La Cour. - Your name?
- Anja Poulsen. - You're late.
You won't be popular.
I'll call him. Grab a lift.
Thanks.
Liv? You said I had a squash match with the bacon people.
What should I have been doing?
- You'll be late. - Late for what?
- Anja Poulsen? - Yes. To see La Cour.
Go on in.
Thanks.
We can just appoint a new board.
Yes.
You're 20 minutes late. You've got 5 minutes.
So have you or I'll sell the lot.
- I have a meeting with the CEO. - In that outfit?
OK... you and I live in a new millennium.
- When men change nappies too. - About time too.
- It can boost your bottom line. - You're no shrinking violet.
No.
I hate it when people bring their personal lives to work... Go on.
Go on.
It'll only take two seconds. Back in a moment.
I'll say I ran into the water dispenser.
I'm sure she's done it too.
Nobody will notice.
- It's my meeting. - You don't look like an Anja.
It's my meeting. Mine.
- Where were we? - Men changing nappies.
I was about to...
Your baby wants you.
Your baby?
Yes. It'll only take a moment.
Anja? La Cour... you... you're a...
...woman.
Who the hell are you?
- Hey, honey, how did it go? - It didn't.
Did they find out you'd quit?
Does it matter?
Why don't you show your dad? His own campaign stinks.
- He needs help. - Don't you understand anything?
We made a deal: you'd take paternity leave.
Yes! It's Wednesday!
We're up shit creek
They sound great, don't they?
If you leave me now
I'm moving out. We can't live here with a baby.
You think "A break is what I need right now"
I was shocked I thought we were a fixture
You say "Don't worry, I just need to get the overview"
I think "You must have found another man"
If you leave me now...
In the nest Lay a little egg
I never saw such a lovely egg
The egg in the nest The nest on the twig
The twig on the branch The branch on the tree
The tree on the mountain
They're brilliant.
- What's up? - What?
What's up?
I always sing loads of lullabies. I hope she remembers.
The same again, please.
Is it you and me?
- What are you doing? - I told you. He's come home.
Doesn't he know Anja doesn't live there anymore?
Viktor! Anja Doesn't Live There Any More!
Be careful.
Don't break a leg. You had it all.
A fantastic girlfriend, beautiful, clever, full of dreams.
And a lovely daughter. A family. A proper family.
- I've thrown it all away. - You're afraid you're not a man.
When did you get a brain?
Did you learn anything on that stupid course?
How much of a man are you if you can't keep your family together?
Viktor! You are Anja's rock.
You're her fireman.
Show her.
Don't let go.
- Have you found somewhere to live? - I need to borrow your bike.
It's Regitze's. It cost 14000. It's custom made.
To hell with that. And you can tell that to Regitze.
Tell her "Viktor's borrowed your bike to fetch his lady from the country".
- "He's a custom-made rock". - Take a taxi instead.
- I can cycle, Peter. - Viktor! Regitze will go amok!
Off we go!
Anja! Anja!
Anja!
- Viktor? - I've got to talk to Anja. Anja!
Anja!
- Viktor? - I've come for you.
Are you drunk?
I borrowed Regitze's bike. It's a Christiania bike.
Come in out of the rain.
You and Baby can ride home on the front.
We haven't got a home.
Anja!
We're a family.
Anja!
I'm sorry! I got scared.
Hey, you love your fireman! Anja!
Viktor...
No, I am not going to live with my in-laws.
I am terribly sorry.
I really didn't mean to run you over.
I know you. Janus. The film director.
I only just passed my test. I'd better get a smaller Hummer.
You should have made a more thorough job of it.
- I've had it. - What about your girlfriend?
- Did you show her what was what? - Yes. And it looked stupid.
- What is this place? - My film studio.
- Can you make films here? - I can do anything here.
Viktor? Do you know what the time is?
Me? I haven't been in front of a camera for three years.
I've given up waxing my upper body.
Yes... they're still there.
Yes, OK, OK. Big Pete is back.
The worm is about to turn. See you, Bjarne.
Hello? Hi, Viktor.
Of course.
What would you do without us?
Any good?
With a lick of paint.
- Why not? - Super.
We've got 24 hours and counting. We'll shoot at sundown.
Come on, it won't paint itself. Go, go, go!
Rolling.
Action!
Morning, Larsen. Any more coffee?
What are you up to?
It's hot. I haven't slept all night.
- With a baby you don't get a wink. - Did the reserve go out last night?
- Are we busy? - No, we are not.
We can put anything out, no trouble.
So I can nip out and come back later? I've got a hairdresser's appointment.
I want to have highlights put in.
Viktor? Do you know the expression "To push your luck"?
You can reach me on the walkie-talkie.
He's lost it.
Hi, chubby! You are so good at swimming!
LADIES
Sorry, Madam.
Hey, you!
No boots in the pool area! We need to soap you first.
Stamper, wait for your turn!
Anja, are you very busy?
Viktor, we're swimming.
Come on, trust me. You, too.
Jump!
Stamper, wait for your turn!
- Viktor, you're mad. - Yes, luckily.
Where are they?
If this doesn't win four Oscars there's no justice.
And an Emmy!
And I am outstanding.
- Even Regitze likes me. - Isn't it fab?
- What's going on? - Come on.
We've been told something is wrong on the top floor.
- I hadn't heard. - No. But I have.
- We'll check it out. - You can't. There's a meeting.
A meeting with death if anything is wrong.
Death.
Ulla calling security. Hi, Brian.
Women buy 89% of all nappies.
So of course we are targeting them.
- We won't be allowed in. - We're on our way up.
I can't face losing to my father or Ulrik again.
When La Cour sees that DVD you'll strike gold.
- Goodness! - Traditional but innovative.
Viktor? No, I haven't time.
Willy, your presentation stinks. Come down and get us inside.
Willy! He hung up!
"Shit happens."
I thought so. Let's see some other slogans.
"Bebsie Nappies Keep Out The Cold."
And we have a shot of baby at the North Pole.
I think we'll sign up Ulrik.
Shu-bi-dua just phoned. They'd love to take part.
"We're the Shuba-men and we are back again".
Picture it! Crummy and Dinger in nappies!
We can use Gnags, too. "Down your street".
Or Birthe Kjær. "I take my Bebsies everywhere".
And what about the Four Jacks?
- Willy? - Viktor!
- Listen. That film you mentioned. - It's right here. With your partner.
- Partner? Don't push your luck. - Cry or act.
OK, OK. Are you sure? Can you...
This is what we discussed.
OK. OK. 'Bye.
I really hope it isn't...
Piss, piss, piss...
- Hi, Larsen. - What's going on?
Anja and I have to get up to the penthouse but they won't let us in.
Oh? And so you called the fire brigade?
Remember: families belong at home in a photo album.
Pack up, lads.
Did you just call my family "a photo album"?
Just get us up there. You can fire me afterwards.
Viktor, let's forget about it.
Cool your cucumber, Miss Modern Times.
The fire brigade shows up because Viktor's girl wants a career.
- And she can't be bothered! - That has nothing to do with it.
Tough. We're putting you up there. If only to stop him complaining.
It puts me off my lunch.
- Being wet suits you, boss. - That'll do.
When this shower stops I can continue.
- Will that be necessary? - I have a trick up my sleeve.
I wonder what? Sussi and Leo?
I feel dizzy.
Look up, honey.
I've got the critter under control. Sort of.
I need a cigarette.
- What the...?! - Willy!
Don't move! It's about time she showed up.
Don't worry, it's just a joke. Now for some fun!
- Open the window. - I can't.
They use some kind of Inter Cool to stop people from breathing.
- What took you so long? - Are you doing all right?
- Not exactly. My daughter... - No, no, "partner".
My partner has made a film to show our ideas for the campaign.
- Anja belonged to our agency. - And now she belongs to us.
Anja Poulsen... give me your best shot.
- You can't allow... - What can't I do? Go ahead.
- Shall we run it? - Yes.
It's bound to be rubbish.
My baby! My baby's in there!
Water!
NAPPIES
...FOR REAL MEN
This is completely unacceptable.
- La Cour, you can't let her... - Can you change a nappy?
Or are you just a girlie?
We're buying it. Willy, if I find a dry contract...
You bet.
This is quite unreasonable.
I can't sign this.
But my daughter can.
Anja Poulsen, as far as advertising is concerned you are dead.
No smoking.
If you want to get at Anja you'll have to get past us first.
Beat it.
We'll clear up the mess, don't worry.
Stand by, lads.
Lovely. Champagne.
She bought it.
- Thank you! - Thank you, Tarantino!
And you did all this for me!
It was your idea. You're the genius, honey.
I know.